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Extra! Extra! Extra! Artist Makes Discovery! Read All About it!

I was writing in my journal a few minutes ago and I discovered something about myself that will change me forever.

I have been or wanted to be an artist my entire life.  I’ve believed with all my heart that it would come to something, that I would use it for something.

Years have passed.  I still feel like my art is meant for something good.  I admit that I don’t know if its for something farther along or if it has already done what is required.  Is it a destination kind of task or a journey?

So what did I discover while writing in my prayer journal?  I brought up the subject of “something” again.  I wrote that whether or not that something is a great thing or not, I’m okay with that.  I’m going to move forward and do what I’m best at.  I have thought for a long time that art is what I’m best at.  I’m afraid to paint though.  I keep finding big and small reasons to NOT paint.  While praying I had a thought.  I’m afraid to paint because I’m afraid that I’ll find out that I’m not all that.  I’m not a prodigy.  I’m mediocre.  Then I realized, for the first time that mediocre would be okay.  It’ll be good enough.  I’m always trying to improve and I love learning.  If I never become the absolutely best artist in all history, it’s okay.  If the very best I can do is to be a mediocre artist, then I’m going to be a mediocre artist that paints and paints and paints.  I have stuff to say with my art.  It’s okay if I’m Shelley and not Rembrandt.  He had stuff to say and he said it.  Now I have to say my stuff and I’ll say it with my art, just as Rembrandt did.  And it’ll be okay.  It IS okay.

Ten year old Shelley

2 comments on “Extra! Extra! Extra! Artist Makes Discovery! Read All About it!

  1. I was definitely a gangly teen – weighed 80 pounds and was 5’7″ tall. I’ve made up for it though, sorry to say. Working to fix it.

    My calling was something that carried me through some pretty awful years – age 10 to 18. I worked at PREPARING and my focus on that and on being called to give in some way later, carried me, protected me, and brought me out of all that. Thank you for stopping by to visit and sharing a bit of your story with me.

  2. My gosh, I stopped on this page and realized I have a 10 year old photo that looks just like this! I guess we were both cute kids but I wish I had skipped the awful teenage gangly years!

    I can also relate to hearing God’s call at a very young age. Praise God he took me out of an abusive, horrific childhood and loved me enough to save me. It’s amazing how God directs our lives when we only trust Him. Thanks for your thoughts.

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